Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
