she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
