shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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