beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
