I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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