whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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