god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
