Your dad touched me again.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
