The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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