Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
