I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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