We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
