I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
