in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
