Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
