I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
