Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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