I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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