Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
