talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
