yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
