I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
