is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize