Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
