but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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