he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Houston, we have a squirter
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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