Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
