Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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