im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
