Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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