I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
