Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
