all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
