I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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