Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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