Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You may now shotgun with the bride
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize