He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude. I can hear the air.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
