I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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