Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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