This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
