"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
where are you?
Hypothermia
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
