but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
