there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
