So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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