That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize