I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
