Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize