Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
