i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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