Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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