nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
