she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
