Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
