Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
