Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize