Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
