Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
