dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
