I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
