he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
