On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
