DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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