please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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