Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
