i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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